


Splinter

by valisi



Series: Vespers [6]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Dominant Erwin Smith, F/M, Fluff, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Swears, Levi/Erwin Smith Fluff, M/M, Making Out, Mike/Nanaba smut, Outing, Platonic Hange Zoë & Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 09:40:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7569262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valisi/pseuds/valisi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the expedition of November in the year 844, Erwin's anxiety tortures him with visions of battlefield gore. Levi has to find a creative way to keep him focused on their goals.</p><p>Mike and Hange are suspicious of Erwin and Levi spending so much time together and attempt to find out the truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Floorboard

**Author's Note:**

> Song Pairing for this Chapter: [Digital Daggers- Close Your Eyes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtKRG_pYEsQ) (YouTube Link)
> 
> Rated Explicit for violence and the possible content of future chapters.

Levi left the barracks later than usual that night. He put on his winter coat and hat. It was lightly snowing outside. The snow would melt by dawn.

When Levi felt properly dressed to go outside, he walked through the bunk room quietly. As he passed the fireplace, he saw that it needed some attention. He stopped long enough to stoke the fire. He tried to be as quiet as he could, but when he put the fire poker back against the wall he heard someone move behind him. 

Levi turned and saw a soldier sit up on the edge of his bed in a bottom bunk. The soldier ran his hand into his hair and scratched his scalp. Then, he laid back down again and went fast to sleep. Levi silently approached the bunk to make sure the man had actually gone back to sleep. Levi had seen a lot of strange things happen in the barracks, but watching a man sit straight up to scratch himself and fall right back to sleep was odd. 

Levi walked out of the bunk room quietly and walked through the hallway to the window at the end of the building. Levi lifted the window and leaned his head out of it. He grabbed the fire escape ladder and lifted himself out of the window. Levi held tightly to the ladder and leaned down and put the window down with his foot. He climbed the ladder to the top of the roof. Levi could feel the stinging cold of the metal ladder under his gloves. 

When Levi reached the roof, he looked at the expansive roof covered with a very thin layer of snow. Erwin had told him not to do this, but it was warmer in Erwin's room. Levi walked very carefully over the roof. He tried to avoid the parts of the roof that made the most noise, but all of the snow on the roof made it difficult to see where he was putting his feet. Levi decided to take the safest route rather than the quietest route for this night. He was thankful that the wind was not blowing as much as it had been earlier in the week. 

Levi reached the part of the roof directly above Erwin's room. Levi looked down and saw that the window wasn't open. He couldn't blame Erwin though. Erwin told him that it wouldn't be good to visit this way in winter. Levi couldn't stop thinking about Erwin's chair though. He frowned and decided that it was okay to admit that he was visiting for more than just the chair. Just this one time.

Levi took off his gloves and put them in his pocket. He crouched, grabbed the edge of the roof and lowered himself in front of Erwin's window. His arm was almost not long enough to reach Erwin's window handle. This was one of the few times that Levi wished that he was a bit taller. He pushed the window handle down with his boot, pulled back and swung it open. Levi put his boot inside on the windowsill. Levi used his free hand to pull himself into the window, crouched and stepped down into Erwin's room. Quickly, he closed the window behind him. Levi pulled his boots off under the window so he wouldn't track roof grime or snow through Erwin's room. 

The first thing that Levi noticed about the room was that it wasn't as warm as usual. The fire in the fireplace was dying. 

“I told you not to come, Levi,” Erwin said. Levi felt adrenaline run through his body. Erwin's voice had surprised him. He didn't expect Erwin would be awake. Erwin sounded exhausted. Levi didn't say anything or look at Erwin. 

Levi walked across the room and fed the fire. He stoked it and waited until the new firewood began to catch fire. Levi stood, replaced the fire poker and took off his winter coat and hat. He draped them across the back of the couch. The fire was warm enough now to thaw some of the cold in his hands. Not only was Levi focusing on getting warm, he was running through ideas in his head. Everything about the atmosphere in Erwin's room felt uneasy. Normally, his instinct would be to avoid this feeling. 

Levi turned and walked towards Erwin. 

“I was expecting this room to be warmer,” Levi said. He sat on the edge of the bed. Erwin was sitting up in bed. He had his legs crossed and he rested his elbows on his knees. Sweat covered Erwin's skin, and he looked pale. He was fidgeting with his fingernails. Levi imagined that he had not slept much since the expedition the week before. 

Erwin wanted Levi to leave, but he didn't have the heart to turn him back out into the cold. Erwin felt the tension in his chest tighten, and he focused on breathing deeply and evenly. Levi listened to Erwin's breathing. It was too deep and Erwin was barely exhaling. Levi inhaled and released it slowly. He turned his body and faced Erwin. Levi pulled his legs up and crossed them in front of him. Erwin kept his head down and stared at his hands. With a closer look, Levi noticed that Erwin was pulling at the skin around his nails. 

“You've been having trouble with your anxiety?” Erwin nodded. “Talk to me.” Levi's tone was gentle, and it made Erwin feel childish. Erwin's breathing began to increase in speed. Levi swallowed and focused on the task at hand. If Erwin began to fully hyperventilate, he would intervene. Until then, maintaining physical distance was important. 

“I'm sorry, Levi. I don't feel like talking. My chest hurts,” Erwin said. Levi felt a snarky remark come to mind, but he refrained. It frustrated Levi that Erwin seemed to be resistant to help even when he needed it. 

“But before your chest was hurting you were thinking about something.” Levi kept his voice even and spoke slowly. 

“Sure,” Erwin said. He gritted his teeth. 

“Something specifically about last week.” The vision ran through Erwin's head again. He turned in bed and put his bare feet on the floor. To Levi, Erwin's body language was clearly stating that he wanted to crawl away from any questions. Erwin hunched over and held his head in his hands. Levi waited patiently because he knew Erwin still had not reached the peak of panic yet. The pressure in the room was slowly building. He didn't have a clue what to do if Erwin reached that point. The only hope he had was to stop it before that happened.

“I'm sorry. I'm going to vomit,” Erwin said. 

“If you do, it will be fine,” Levi insisted. “Say what you're thinking.” Erwin's nausea rolled in his stomach. The sights and sounds of the memory were clear in his mind, but he didn't know how to say the words. 

“I can't,” Erwin said. “There are too many words. I'm sorry.” Levi crossed his arms. He wished that he had more patience. The apologies sprinkled in with Erwin's speech were especially annoying. Levi took a moment to weigh his choices. This situation felt uncomfortably delicate. There were two options. He could either provoke Erwin to the point of panic and force him to release these strong emotions explosively, or he could be patient and see if Erwin could do most of the work himself. Either one of them could have been cathartic. However, purposely pushing Erwin to the point of panic could break a barrier of trust between them if Erwin caught on to Levi's manipulation. Levi also had to consider whether he wanted to see Erwin crushed. Seeing Erwin, his superior, crumble could injure Levi's opinion of him. Being gentle with Erwin could also cause him to change his view of Erwin depending on the response. Either choice was a gamble. So he decided to push Erwin and pull gently as well. The reaction to each of Levi's efforts would direct the way Erwin needed to go. 

“Don't focus so much on accuracy,” Levi instructed. “Just say words, and I'll put them together.” There was a softness to Levi's voice. It wasn't patronizing, but it was clear that there was effort in the gesture. Erwin swallowed. The first word that came to mind made him feel faint. His eyes rolled back in his head before he was able to spit the word out. 

“Blood,” Erwin said. His mouth felt dry. Levi nodded. Erwin was shaking. “There's a sound it makes when you step on blood soaked ground.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I dismounted my horse, and when I stepped down, the ground gave way under my boot,” Erwin said. “The dirt was so soaked that it was muddy. And the sound is stuck in my mind.” Levi closed his eyes and imagined it. Even if he had seen the same thing, Erwin had interpreted something differently. The memory of Erwin dismounting to give orders returned to Levi, and he scanned the area around him. Erwin's back began rising faster, but it wouldn't fall enough for him to breathe completely out. 

“And the smell,” Levi pushed. His firm gaze returned to Erwin while he gauged Erwin's reaction. Body language changed very little in response. Hyperventilation increased slightly. So even that gentle push was a struggle for Erwin. 

“Iron,” Erwin gasped. “It's stuck in my nose, and I can't get it out.” Erwin stopped talking. He put a hand over his mouth. The smell was overwhelming even then. The will to live was just so strong that he couldn't stop to think about it on the battlefield. He forgot everything until he was at home. Even when he was safe, he couldn't rest. There was no way to let go of what he had seen. 

“Face me,” Levi said. Erwin furrowed his brow. 

“What?” Erwin breathed.

“Turn your body, and look at me.” Erwin swallowed hard, and his mouth was very dry. His chest still hurt, and it even hurt to move. He sat up straight and turned in the bed with obvious discomfort. He crossed his legs in front of him. When Erwin was settled, Levi moved closer to him. Levi took Erwin's hand and put it on his own chest over his heart. Then, Levi put his hand over Erwin's heart. The sweat on Erwin's body was cold, and it was unsettling for Levi. 

“Follow my breathing,” Levi said. Levi took a deep breath in through his nose and held it. Erwin followed. He found that part easy. Levi opened his lips and pushed the breath out. Erwin tried to follow, and only released a shallow breath. 

“Do better,” Levi demanded. “Close your eyes. Focus on my chest.” Levi closed his eyes. Erwin's eyes closed. When Levi took a breath in, Erwin felt his chest move so he mimicked the pattern. As Levi's chest fell, Erwin felt resistance from his own body. The breath was forced, and it made Erwin more nauseous. He coerced his body to follow the pattern with great effort, and he was left feeling completely hollow. There was an harsh tingling in Erwin's hands and arms. It was hard to ignore, but Erwin did his best. If he could just follow Levi's pattern, then the tingling would ease. 

Five breaths later, Levi opened his eyes and watched Erwin following the rhythm of his breaths. Although Erwin was struggling with exhaling, he seemed eager to return balance to his mind and body. Levi breathed in deeply, and Erwin followed. When Levi exhaled, Erwin's chest shook under Levi's hand. It hurt Levi to watch Erwin struggle to breathe so much. There were so many things that came easily to Erwin that it seemed infinitely unfair for his body to deny him the right to function properly. If only his body was the problem, then Levi's job would be easy. That just wasn't enough. 

“Say it out loud,” Levi demanded. “Whatever shit is filling up your head, just say it.” Erwin forced more air out of his lungs. 

“I saw half of a woman's body,” Erwin gasped. “And all of her reproductive organs were spread on the ground. And I thought about her never having a child. She never grew up to be a mother.” Erwin whimpered. “She was just wasted meat.” Levi's facial expression changed to pain, but Erwin never lifted his head to see it. 

“Erwin,” Levi said. The idea was in Levi's head, but he needed to find the right words first. 

“I can't go back out there,” Erwin said. His whole body was shaking now. “I don't want to do this anymore.” Levi reached out with the hand that wasn't on Erwin's chest and pulled Erwin forward. Levi rested his forehead against Erwin's. Cold sweat made a barrier between their skin. They both kept their hands on the other's chest. Levi was afraid to break the contact. He prepared himself for what he was about to say. He leaned back a bit and looked Erwin in the face. Erwin's eyes were closed tightly and sweat was rolling down his face.

“There are days that I feel the same way,” Levi confided. “But I know you don't really want that.” 

“I do,” Erwin breathed the words. There was no force behind them. It sounded like begging rather than assertion. 

“Then how will you wake up in the morning?” Levi whispered. “Because if the day is not for humanity, then how will you get out of bed?” Levi felt like pulling Erwin to him in a full embrace, but also knew that Erwin needed space. The small amount of contact they had would have to do for now.“Mankind needs you, Erwin.” 

“But what about them? All of our people who have died. Doesn't mankind need them too?” Levi didn't say anything for a while. The rising and falling of Erwin's chest was much more even in comparison to earlier. There was a way that Levi had been coping with Erwin's exact problem for a while now. He had not shared it with anyone. 

“Erwin,” Levi said. “Every man and woman who dies in battle is the father and mother of freedom. They literally gave others life by sacrificing their bodies.” Erwin opened his wet eyes and lifted his gaze to Levi. He looked glassy eyed and sick. Levi stared firmly into Erwin's eyes. “Repeat it,” Levi said. “Say it until you believe it.”

“Mothers and fathers of freedom?” 

“Giving life with their bodies,” Levi insisted. “Say it.” Erwin paused and his mouth hung open. 

“Every man and woman,” Erwin paused and inhaled, “who dies in battle is the father and mother of freedom.” 

Levi nodded. 

“Again,” Levi said. Erwin put effort into using a stronger voice this time. 

“Every man and woman who dies in battle is the father and mother of our freedom,” Erwin whispered. It was a struggle, but Erwin wanted the words to be true. Levi nodded. 

“Now louder,” Levi demanded. Erwin shook his head. “Louder,” Levi pushed. “Say it until you believe it.” 

“Every man and woman who dies in battle is the father and mother of freedom,” Erwin voice was strong and firm once more. Levi demanded him to repeat it several more times before Erwin seemed to understand. The belief was settled in Erwin's heart then. 

“She gave everything in the name of freedom,” Levi said. “If you say she never became a mother, you deny her the honor she earned. Because she gave birth to a life of freedom for our next generation.” Erwin's breathing had evened out. His eyelids were heavy and he looked very tired. 

“We're chasing freedom,” Erwin remembered. “Today is a day for humanity.” 

“What will we do when we reach freedom, Erwin?”Levi was smiling up at him with obvious pride. Erwin smiled. 

“We'll knock down the walls,” Erwin said. 

“And we'll steal some horses,” Levi added. “And we're getting the fuck out of here.” Erwin grinned. He breathed in deeply and released the breath. Levi lifted his head and pressed his lips against Erwin's forehead. 

“Levi,” Erwin said. Levi took his lips off of Erwin's face and looked down at him. “Thank you.” 

“Have you worn yourself out now?” Levi tilted his head to the side. Erwin nodded and wiped his face with the bed sheet. 

“Will you lay here with me for a while?” Erwin asked this weakly as if he expected Levi to leave now. Levi nodded. 

“I'll lay here,” Levi promised. 

“So can we get into the regular position?” Levi pulled away from Erwin. Erwin fell over onto his back and extended his right arm. Levi moved up in the bed and laid down with his head on Erwin's chest. Erwin wrapped his arm around Levi and held him closely. They stretched out and pulled the sheet over them. Erwin sniffled and wiped his face with the back of his hand. 

“I'm going to supply tomorrow and buying you a proper handkerchief,” Levi said. Erwin laughed, and Levi grinned. 

“I need one,” Erwin said. Erwin laid there staring at the ceiling. He concentrated on what Levi had said. Erwin then remembered that there was something he intended to show Levi.

“Levi,” Erwin said quickly. Levi was a little surprised by the firm tone returning so quickly to Erwin's voice. 

“Yeah.” 

“When you get up to read, there's a loose floorboard next to the bookshelf. Put your foot on the right side of it and press. When the board pops up, get the book out of there to read. Just be sure to put it back before you leave in the morning.” Erwin sniffed again. 

“What is it?” Levi asked. 

“It's a journal I found in my father's things after he was killed,” Erwin said. Levi was surprised that Erwin had said “killed” instead of “died”. Obviously, he could not ask about it then. He intended for that conversation to be on a night when he felt like Erwin had recovered some more. 

“Why do you want me to read it?” 

“Because you're going to take a Team Leader position. I know that isn't a surprise to you. but you should know what your government is hiding from you,” Erwin said. It then occurred to Levi that, if Erwin's father had been killed because of the knowledge in this book, Erwin was in perpetual danger of having his secrets found out. This book was a secret. His father's murder seemed to be a secret. One of their relationship dynamics was a secret. He wondered about the weight of constantly keeping up appearances like Erwin did. Levi had always had the privilege of being himself. He thought that it must be a heavy burden.

Erwin's eyes were heavy and he was relaxed now. Levi listened as Erwin began breathing slower and then snoring. He smiled. Levi sat up in bed and Erwin's arm fell heavily to the bed. It didn't wake him up. Exhaustion had set in and Levi was thankful that Erwin's body allowed sleep. 

Levi stood from the bed and walked across the room to the bookshelf. He pressed his foot to the right side of the floorboard and it lifted. He reached under it and pulled out a brown leather book with a cover that was gouged in some places. 

Levi crossed the room and sat in Erwin's chair. He crossed his legs and opened the journal. Erwin's father's handwriting was very precise and blocky. The journal was filled with theories that Erwin's father had created about how the government must have altered the memories of mankind after the walls were built. At first Levi was skeptical, but the farther he read into the journal the more likely the theories became. 

When Levi was a quarter of the way through the book, a new handwriting began. It was the weak and poor handwriting of a child. Erwin explained how his father was killed. Levi read that part twice. There was something very heart wrenching about imagining a young Erwin recording his own father's death. Levi lifted his head and looked over at Erwin's sleeping body for a long time. 

When Levi turned back to the book, he continued reading. As Levi went through the book, the handwriting matured and became steadier. Erwin had been writing in this journal throughout his life. The dates in the journal were sporadic. Any time he thought of a new theory surrounding the oppression of information by the government, he wrote it down. As the dates increased, Erwin's handwriting became as precise as his father's, but the letters were much firmer. 

When Levi reached the final entry, there was a small piece of paper tucked into the journal. Levi pulled it out and saw that it was the note he had left for Erwin the day after his birthday. Levi folded the note back up and put it back in place before closing the book. He stood and returned the journal to the floor board. Levi fixed the floorboard carefully and made sure that it didn't look out of place. 

Levi went back to the chair and sat down. He crossed his legs and arms. His head fell back against the chair and he stared at the ceiling. Levi didn't sleep at all that night.


	2. Out

The alarm clock rang at the usual time. Erwin woke up, but he didn't sit up as quickly as usual. Levi stood from the chair and crossed the room. When he reached the bedside table, Levi turned the alarm off. He picked the clock up and set the alarm to go off at an hour that would give Erwin plenty of time to get ready and do some PT before work. Without making a move to get up, Erwin watched Levi reset his alarm. 

“Sleep some more,” Levi coaxed. Erwin didn't argue before he closed his eyes. Levi reached down and ran his fingers through Erwin's hair. Levi walked back over to the window. He sat down in the chair and put his boots. It was early enough that no one would be awake to see him walk around in the officers' quarters. Levi took his coat and hat from the couch. He put them on before he left Erwin's room.

Just before Levi reached the door to the outside, it opened. There was nowhere for him to run or hide. Mike stepped through the door wiping his feet on the rug. When he turned and saw Levi, he raised his eyebrows. Mike closed the door behind him, but remained in his way so he could not pass. Levi looked up at Mike's eyes. 

“Levi?” 

“Good morning,” Levi nodded. While he was neutral on the outside, he felt a sense of panic run up his spine. 

“Good morning,” Mike said with obvious suspicion. “You've had a meeting with Erwin this early?” Mike looked confused. 

“Yeah.” 

“So are you going to take the job?” Mike sniffed the air. Levi dared not breathe. He nodded instead. There was obvious tension. Levi considered trying to further the conversation on his own, but he refrained. He hoped Mike would say more that he could turn around and repeat back to him. 

The door opened behind Mike and it hit him gently in the back. Hange pushed harder and Mike stepped forward. Levi followed the motion and stepped back farther away from Mike. When Hange was fully inside, she closed the door behind her. 

“Phew!” Hange said. “Cold.” She wrapped her arms around herself even though she was wearing her heavy coat. 

“Levi!” she smiled. “You've already met with Erwin?” 

“Yeah,” Levi said. Mike looked at Hange waiting for a realization to pass over her face. 

“The room for the former officer hasn't been packed or cleaned yet,” Hange looked a bit distressed. “You'll have to wait to move in.” 

“That's fine,” Levi offered. “I'll clean it myself.” 

“You better,” she smiled. Hange was quick on her feet. “If you're going to take over the maintenance crew, then you should be used to cleaning.” 

“Right,” Levi agreed. Hange adjusted her glasses. There had been no discussion between the officers of Levi's supervision assignment, but he wasn't lying to her. Maybe he and Erwin had discussed it. Something about the situation seemed very odd to Hange. 

“So,” Hange began. 

“I'm going for PT,” Levi interrupted her. He forced his way past both of them, and Hange and Mike both moved to the side. There were no drills scheduled very soon. Levi opened the door and closed it quickly behind him. Hange felt a nagging suspicion in the back of her skull. Although she wanted to ignore it, she just couldn't. 

“Hange,” Mike said. “Something's off.” Hange looked up at Mike. 

“He's probably not a morning person,” Hange offered. “I'm going to go see if Erwin is ready to go. He can walk with us. Wait here.” Mike frowned. He didn't know why he couldn't follow Hange, but he didn't disagree. 

Hange climbed the stairs and walked down the hall to Erwin's room. When she put her ear to the door, she heard movement in the room. Boots began walking on the hardwood floors, but Hange couldn't determine the direction. 

When Erwin opened the door, Hange lost her balance for a moment before she righted herself. Erwin was fully dressed for his work day with his coat draped over his arm and hat in hand.

“Hange?” Erwin was confused. “Why are you leaning against my door?” Hange looked up. There were dark circles under Erwin's eyes. 

“Oh,” Hange scrambled. “I just saw Levi leave.” Her sentence seemed to stop a bit short, and Erwin caught the drift. Erwin knew Hange was investigating for suspicious behavior. 

“I've already met with him about the Team Leader position and the meeting this morning.”

“He said he's taking the job,” Hange nodded. “He's taking the maintenance crew?” 

“If that's what he wants,” Erwin said. “We didn't settle supervision assignment.”

“Because I mentioned the maintenance crew, and he talked like he knew about it,” Hange said. Again, Erwin caught the assumption. 

“If you said so, then he probably thought you had information he didn't,” Erwin offered. “I mentioned it because I thought it might be an area where he would excel. Now that you seem to have confirmed it, I guess we'll be giving it to him.” 

“Erwin,” Hange chided. There was a severe tone change in the conversation. Erwin grabbed Hange's arm and pulled her into his room. He shut the door behind her. 

“Yes,” Erwin said flatly. The weary look on his face made Hange feel guilty. Many things ran through Hange's head, and she had trouble getting the words out of her mouth. 

“You've given Levi a lot of special attention,” she explained. “And it might look bad to those who didn't know you very well.” 

“Like favoritism?” 

“Maybe,” Hange said. “Mike and I both knew where he had been when we saw him walking out of the officers' quarters, and I don't think we would be the only ones who could piece things together so quickly.” Erwin took a breath and released it with frustration. 

“What would you like me to say, Hange?” 

“Tell me that you aren't doing anything illegal, Erwin.” Erwin's thoughts raced through his mind, but he settled on the solution quickly. 

“I can't,” Erwin admitted. Hange's eyes widened and the visible shock was written all over her body language. “Because you're right. That was a meeting that should have been saved for official hours. Except Levi doesn't like surprises if you haven't noticed.” Hange felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. There had been so much initial shock for it to be smoothed over with just a simple explanation. 

“But,” Hange questioned.

“I'll be more careful,” Erwin offered.

“Wait,” Hange said. 

“No,” Erwin walked past her. “We need to start the day. Levi's not the only meeting we have.” Erwin opened the door and walked away. Hange stood there in his room trying to think around what Erwin had said. He just seemed so sure that it was hard to question him. 

Once she realized that Erwin was actually gone, Hange snapped out of her thoughts and looked around. She left the room and closed the door behind her. 

Erwin descended the stairs and Mike saw Hange bumbling down the stairs after Erwin. Erwin offered his hand to Mike, and Mike took his hand. They shook hands firmly. 

“It's going to get heavy in the meeting room,” Erwin said. “Congratulations, Mike. I may not get an opportunity to say so afterwards.” 

“What?” Mike titled his head. 

“You're being promoted to Squad Leader.”

“Erwin!” Hange protested. “We just talked about this. You can't just announce these things without ceremony!” 

“Right,” Erwin said. “Come on,” Erwin opened the door. “Let's get the day started.” Mike wasn't surprised by the sudden promotion, but he stared at Hange as she passed him to follow Erwin. Mike quickly put the pieces together. 

Erwin, Hange and Mike all went for individual PT. They met up for breakfast and then went to the morning meeting together. 

When they all entered one of the meeting rooms in the central area of headquarters, the others who were going to be promoted and other officers had already been seated. Levi was among them, and Mike made eye contact. Mike even sat directly across from Levi and made no attempts to hide his staring. Levi looked annoyed, but didn't mention it. Mike's body language was relaxed even if he was being a little strange. 

Shortly after everyone was seated, Commander Shadis walked through the door of the meeting room. He closed it behind him. 

Mike only paid attention in the meeting to the parts that could not be ignored. A few times he was directly addressed by the Commander. Other than those moments, he already had most of the information that was being shared. When paperwork was passed around, Mike took what pertained to him. Not many things had changed since the last expedition. During the times that he could ignore the conversation around the table, Mike spent all of his mental energy putting puzzle pieces together. There were a few pieces missing, but he almost had a clear picture of what he thought was happening. 

When Erwin spoke, Mike watched Levi. There was no change in body language or facial expression. Levi was simply following the conversation. Mike turned to look at Erwin. Erwin was equally blank while he was listening to others speak. However, there was a single incident of Levi adding to the conversation. Mike didn't listen to Levi's words. 

As soon as Levi's sentence began, Erwin leaned forward. A jolt of realization crossed Mike's mind. First, he considered that Erwin was having trouble hearing Levi, but that simply wasn't possible. The Commander was sitting farther away from Levi and he had not moved. Mike relaxed back in his chair and crossed his arms. The meeting continued, and Mike feigned interest. 

The Commander adjourned the meeting once the agenda for the next month had been discussed, and he stood from his chair. The officers also stood and waited for Commander Shadis to leave the room. When the Commander exited the room, Levi spoke up. 

“For those of you who have also received promotions and are moving residences or rooms, please respectfully pack the belongings of the former officer for us to send to his or her family. Then please clean your room.” All of the officers stopped and listened to the conversation. One of the new Team Leaders, Lucas Blanc, looked confused. 

“I thought the maintenance crew normally cleaned after the room was packed.” 

“I know,” Levi said. “And I think it's a shitty use of their time. They already have enough interruptions. The current cleaning schedule they have for the officers' quarters is reasonable, but calling them away from their schedule just to clean the rooms of four officers is stupid.” 

“You could probably clean the entire downstairs yourself right, Levi?” Hange asked. There was a gentle smile on her face. 

“Cleaning your own area is more efficient than depending on someone else. We don't need help,” Levi said. Levi didn't wait for a reply before he began walking out of the meeting room. Lucas and the other new team leader, Heinz Fischer, looked rather irritated, but they didn't argue. All of the officers began filing out of the meeting room then to continue their work. Mike didn't walk with the rest of the officers, and Erwin stood in place. 

When Hange reached the door as the final officer moving out of the room, she turned her head and looked back at Mike and Erwin. 

“I need to talk to Mike for a minute, Hange,” Erwin said. Hange smiled and closed the door behind her.

“You should've paid attention in the meeting, Mike!” Hange called before closing the door. Mike turned and looked at Erwin. 

“What's on your mind, Mike?” Erwin smiled weakly. He looked exhausted already.

“Why do you need to talk to me?” 

“Because you were completely distracted for almost the entire meeting.” Erwin sat on the edge of the table. 

“That's because you seem a little off today, Erwin.” 

“How so?” 

“You're eyes are dark today,” Mike said. “I'm guessing you didn't sleep much. When Levi left the officers' quarters this morning he seemed to be in a hurry even though he didn't have anywhere to go.”

“It's been a strange morning,” Erwin nodded. 

“As long as I've known you, Erwin, you've been a creature of habit. So when something irregular happens in your schedule, it's always unusual. Those irregularities are typically situational. They don't often revolve around people,” Mike said. Erwin shrugged. He was having trouble thinking from the fatigue. 

“I think you've already come to a conclusion, Mike,” Erwin said. “So let's hear your theory.” 

“I actually don't have a conclusion,” Mike admitted. “I'm missing something.” 

“What are you missing?” 

“I know that you and Levi are spending a lot of time together,” Mike said. “I just have no idea why.” 

“That's an awfully weak conclusion, Mike.” Erwin was struggling with the idea of telling Mike the whole truth. 

“I know,” Mike said. “I've noticed a change in you lately.”

“What kind of change?” 

“More drive,” Mike suggested. “Maybe not even that. You seem calmer somehow.”

“Calmer,” Erwin repeated. 

“Like you're more comfortable with the direction you've decided to take?” Mike was confusing himself. It all made sense before he tried to explain it. Erwin was deflecting with so much confidence that it was difficult for Mike to hold on to the ideas he had earlier.

“That doesn't make a lot of sense.” 

“The words don't make sense. But I noticed something.”

“What?”

“When Levi spoke during the meeting, you leaned forward. More specifically, you leaned towards him,” Mike said. 

“I had trouble hearing him,” Erwin shot back. 

“You didn't,” Mike said. Erwin reached up and rubbed his forehead between his eyes. Mike took the signal. Erwin stood from leaning on the table. 

“Let's stop for now,” Erwin said. 

“I want to understand,” Mike said. Erwin looked away from Mike with annoyance. 

“Can't you be satisfied without knowing for a little while longer, Mike?” Erwin raised his head and met Mike's eyes. 

“Not this time,” Mike insisted. Erwin didn't break eye contact, and Mike finally couldn't stand anymore of the piercing gaze. He looked away.

“Fine,” Erwin said. “I'm willing to say that I've taken an interest in Levi.” 

“An interest.” 

“A personal interest then,” Erwin confirmed. Revelation raced across Mike's face and he looked back at Erwin. 

“A personal interest?” Mike asked with disbelief. 

“The type of interest that you have for Nanaba if you need clarification,” Erwin braced himself. Mike tilted his head as if that would help the words settle in his mind. All of the information that Mike knew about Erwin, from observations to conversations raced through his mind. He had never known that Erwin was same sex, and he hadn't given Erwin the right to choose when he was ready to talk about it. 

Erwin began walking to the door past Mike. 

“Erwin,” Mike began. Mike's feet were planted to the floor. 

“Save it,” Erwin grunted. He opened the door and left the meeting room. Mike's head was filled with follow up questions, but the most prevalent thing Mike felt was remorse. 


	3. Collapse

When Mike entered the front door of the officers' quarters, the smell of cleaning products hit him square in the nose. He backed out of the door and held his wrist up to his nose to protect it. 

“Levi!” Mike yelled. His eyes were watering. Levi came to the door dressed down for cleaning. He had a handkerchief wrapped around his face. “Are you trying to gas everyone to death?” 

“Here,” Levi held a handkerchief out. “It couldn't be helped. This place is fucking filthy.” Mike took the handkerchief and wrapped it around his face quickly. 

“We've opened all of the downstairs doors and windows, Levi,” Heinz called. 

“It will clear out in no time,” Levi said. “Come in when you can handle it, Mike.” Mike leaned on the outside wall next to the front door. 

“They're going to suffocate in there,” Mike growled.

“Don't say stupid shit,” Levi said. Levi left the door and went back to work. Mike could hear Levi inside calling out orders for Lucas and Heinz. He was the same rank, but they seemed to follow his word without question. Mike closed his eyes and thought back to Erwin. The remorse from earlier hadn't eased at all. Mike felt like a traitor.

Mike opened his eyes and leaned away from the wall. He took a breath and stepped inside the officers' quarters. Quickly, Mike made his way upstairs to the room he was supposed to take. When he opened the door, he crossed the room and immediately opened the window. Mike exhaled out of the window and took another breath. The air upstairs was much easier to breathe than the downstairs. Mike looked around the room. It seemed barely touched. The Squad Leader which had lived there before him, Maja Romanov, had married shortly after she gained her rank. 

After further inspection, Mike decided that the former Squad Leader had barely lived here. He only had to remove some uniforms from the wardrobe. Mike also found a journal. He opened it and checked the name. It was indeed Maja's, and he knew her husband would appreciate having it. Mike carefully folded and stacked the uniforms on the bed with the Wings of Freedom facing up. He place the journal on top of them. There didn't seem to be anything else in the room. 

Levi walked up the stairs and looked into Mike's room.

“Are you getting enough air up here?” Mike stopped and gathered himself before he made a short joke.

“Yeah.” Mike felt like he had betrayed Erwin already, and he didn't want to piss off Levi too. 

“We're almost done,” Levi said. “I'll help you with your room, and then we should all get back to work.”

“Sure,” Mike said. “Do we have boxes for Maja's things?” Mike turned and faced Levi standing in the doorway.

“Who?” 

“The former Squad Leader,” Mike said. “We can redistribute her uniforms, but we need to send a set of Wings and her journal home.” Levi looked past Mike at the items on the bed. Mike thought he saw an emotion pass Levi's eyes, but without being able to see his nose or mouth it was difficult to get a full reading. 

“Yeah,” Levi said. “I'll get one.” 

“Thank you,” Mike said. He turned and looked back at Maja's things. Maja wasn't a very strong soldier, but her best quality was improvising. Mike dwelt on those thoughts until Levi came back. He didn't enter the room though. 

“Hey,” Levi said. Mike turned around and Levi was holding a small box out at arms length. He stepped closer and took the box from Levi. Without another word, Levi left Mike's doorway. Mike stared down into the empty box. 

After Mike had packed Maja's cape and her journal, he closed the box and patted it gently. He stacked the extra uniforms on top of the box and picked up the items. Just as Mike was about to leave the room, an idea occurred to him. Mike looked down at the box of Maja's things and smiled. Improvising was an excellent tool in many situations.

Tenderly, Mike set Maja's things outside of the bedroom door. He walked back in the room and knelt down on the floor. Mike inspected the wooden legs at the end of the bed. They were in excellent condition. Mike frowned. Mike stood and moved up to the top of the bed. He knelt again and inspected the top legs of the bed. They were also in great shape. Mike tilted his head under the bed and looked at the slats which supported the mattress. There, right in the middle of the slat that supported the center of the bed, he saw a crack. A wide smile spread of Mike's face. He reached under the bed and pressed on the crack in the wood. It splintered easily. 

Quickly, Mike crawled out from under the bed. He walked over to the door and leaned out to see if anyone was in the hallway. There was no one. Heinz and Lucas were talking loudly downstairs. Mike stood in the doorway and faced the bed. Mike backed out of the doorway until his back touched the wall of the hallway. 

With a big grin, Mike took a full speed, running jump at the bed. The center slat crushed under his feet with a force that shook the floor under him. When the bed fell, Mike lost his balance and landed on the soft mattress under him. The heap of wood and mattress surrounded him. 

Mike heard footsteps running up the stairs, and he had just enough time to look as if he had collapsed. The bed was absolutely ruined. The slats had broken with such force that the mattress was laying on the floor. Even the sides of the bed were damaged. 

“What the fuck!” Levi yelled. Mike made a show of using all of his effort to get out of the bed. He lifted himself out of the crushed pile of wood and mattress. Mike stood and brushed himself off. 

“The bed broke,” Mike said simply. 

“No shit you broke the bed, giant fuckhead!” Levi yelled. Heinz and Lucas were too stunned to speak. They stood in the doorway behind Levi. Levi walked farther into the room and inspected the broken bed with disbelief.

“I laid down,” Mike said. “And it broke.” Levi rolled his eyes and looked up at Mike. Mike smiled down at him from under his handkerchief. 

“So,” Levi said. “What now?” Mike shrugged with a grin.

“We could request another bed for you,” Lucas offered gently. 

“Yeah,” Heinz agreed. “We could tell the Commander that your bed broke and that you need-” Heinz stopped talking. They all knew that even if they told the Commander, that he would only tell them to sort it out themselves. Also, none of them wanted to bother the Commander on the first day of their promotion. Lucas, Heinz and Levi stood there in silence for a moment absolutely puzzled. 

“Squad Leader Erwin could help,” Lucas said. “Maybe.” 

“No,” Levi said quickly. “Let's not bother anyone else with this. Mike can sleep in my bed. I'll sleep in the desk chair.” 

“I sleep nude,” Mike said. Mortification spread over Levi's face. 

“Not tonight you don't,” Levi spat. 

“We could move the chair up here for you, Levi,” Heinz offered with enthusiasm. “If that's okay with you, Squad Leader.”

“There might be spare beds in storage,” Lucas said. Levi shook his head. 

“Let's not worry with that today,” Levi said. “We'll work on the extra bed tomorrow. We're running late! Let's get back to work.” Heinz and Lucas nodded before they left the doorway. 

“I'll help you move the wood out,” Mike said. 

“Yeah,” Levi said. Mike and Levi set to work clearing the mess of a bed out of the room. When it was all cleared out, the room still looked horrible. Mike was grateful that none of the floorboards were damaged under the bed.

“I can help clean,” Mike offered. 

“No,” Levi said. “You go. Make arrangements for the personal affects of the former officers. And tell Lucas and Heinz to get to their regular work for the day. It's almost lunch time.” Mike smiled and left the room. The sense of remorse that he felt earlier was almost completely gone. He secretly thanked Maja for the idea when he picked up her things on the way downstairs.

Levi worked hard to clean up the rest of the room. He threw the splinters of the bed into the fireplace and gave the room a deep clean. Even though he had already cleaned the room he was supposed to take, he didn't mind taking care of the bigger room as well. It took Levi a little longer to dust the room because it had been empty and the collapse of the bed had stirred the air. 

After the room had been cleaned, Levi took his handkerchief off and wiped the sweat off the back of his neck. He looked a the clock. He had missed lunch. Food would have to wait. 

Levi went downstairs to the room that was now Mike's, and he put on his winter coat and hat. He hurried to catch up with his tasks for the day.


	4. Knock

After Levi had finished with his duties for the day, he stopped by the barracks to collect his things from his footlocker. When Levi walked through the barracks, he was met with many congratulations that he wished he could have skipped. He made his way quickly through the happy soldiers and packed his few things into Isabel's old pillowcase. 

Again, when Levi was leaving the barracks, he had to wade through a sea of soldiers that wanted to talk to him. However, most of them were getting ready to go eat, and they didn't take much of his time. 

When Levi made it back to the officers' quarters, he burst through the front door and shut it behind him. He climbed the stairs and looked into the room he would use. It was cool outside and he had left the window open. All of the activity had made Levi feel warm, and he was glad his room was a little cold. Gratefully, Levi closed the door behind him and embraced the final silence. He took off his boots next to the door. 

Levi went to the wardrobe and set the pillowcase of his things in it. Unpacking wouldn't be necessary if they could get another bed the next day. He hung up his winter coat and put his hat on the top shelf. After that, he closed the window and lit a fire. Levi sat in front of the fire while he waited for it to pick up. Being in the almost empty room made it seem bigger, and that was comforting to him. It made it feel more tidy because it didn't have many things in it. Levi laid down on the clean floor under him. 

Erwin came through the front door of the officers' quarters and headed to the kitchen. Hange and Mike were seated at the kitchen table. They were whispering and they stopped when Erwin walked in the door. Erwin made sure that his body language didn't portray the suspicion and irritation he felt. He walked across the kitchen and began fixing his plate. 

“Tell him right now,” Hange said. 

“He just walked in from work, Hange,” Mike insisted. Erwin set his plate down firmly and turned to look at Hange and Mike. 

“Mike broke his bed,” Hange blurted. Mike sighed dramatically and melted into his chair with defeat. 

“Damn it, Hange,” Mike said. Erwin was confused. 

“What?” 

“Mike broke his bed,” Hange said. 

“How?” Erwin shook his head with confusion. 

“The middle slat was weak,” Mike said defensively. Mike sat up right in the chair and held his hands out helplessly. “How was I supposed to know?” 

“So you're going to sleep in the barracks tonight?” Erwin found that idea rather hilarious.

“No!” Mike shook his hands. “I'm not going back there. And wear clothes when I sleep again?” Erwin smiled and tilted his head. 

“It's not that bad. We'll just make a pallet for you to sleep on,” Erwin said. 

“That's not the worst part,” Hange said. She glared at Mike. “Levi is going to sleep in a desk chair in Mike's room until we can get another bed.”

“He offered!” Mike insisted. “He says he sleeps sitting up.”

“It's going to hurt his back!” Hange snapped. “He'll be useless.” The pieces fell into place for Erwin, and he felt impressed by Mike. 

“I'll let Levi borrow my chair,” Erwin offered. “I'll move it in there after I eat.” Erwin turned around and started fixing his plate again. There was a warm smile on his face. 

“See?” Hange gestured to Erwin. “That's generosity, Mike.” 

“I don't have a chair to offer,” Mike grumbled. 

“That's not good enough,” Hange said. Erwin sat down with his potato and bacon. Hange stood from the table and walked out of the kitchen. “I'm going to go draw some Titans. I need to calm down.” Erwin began eating and he looked over at Mike. 

“Sounds like you've had an eventful day,” Erwin said. Mike shrugged. 

“Not too bad.” Erwin smiled and drank some water. “How was your day?” Mike asked hesitantly. 

“Great,” Erwin said. “Got the support I wanted.” Mike smiled to himself and stood from the table. 

“Goodnight, Erwin,” Mike said. 

“Tell her I said hello,” Erwin said. Mike left the kitchen and headed for the front door. Erwin finished his meal in satisfied silence. 

Levi's peace and quiet was interrupted by a knock at the door. He opened his eyes and felt irritation wash over him. 

“Levi,” Erwin said through the door. “Come get my chair.” Erwin left Levi's door and opened the door to his own room next door. 

Levi stood from the floor and walked in his sock feet to the door. He opened it and leaned out. No one was in the hallway. Levi walked over to Erwin's room. Erwin took his boots off. 

“I'll help,” Erwin said. 

“I've got it,” Levi offered. 

Erwin stood and took the back of the chair in his hands. Levi leaned down and picked up the front of the chair. Together, they moved the chair out of Erwin's door and over to the next room. 

Levi directed Erwin to sit the chair in front of the fire. They sat the chair down. 

“You won't get too hot?” Erwin asked. 

“No.” Erwin nodded and headed back to his room. Levi followed and closed the room to his door on the way. 

“Tea?” Erwin asked. 

“I haven't eaten yet,” Levi said. 

“Bring hot water up when you come back then,” Erwin instructed. He went back to his room and closed the door. 

Levi walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. He took a piece of bacon from the plate next to the stove and put the whole thing in his mouth. Then he took the kettle from the stove and filled it with water. He put the kettle back on the stove and lit a fire under it. 

Then, Levi finally grabbed a plate and put a steamed potato on it. He sat down with the food and began eating it, skin and all. Going the entire day without eating had left him ravenous. 

The kettle on the stove lightly whistled. Levi took his plate to the sink and then took the kettle from the stove. He grabbed his ration of bread on the way out of the kitchen. Levi climbed the stairs and headed to Erwin's room. 

Levi knocked on the door with the hand that was holding his bread. 

“Come in,” Erwin called. 

“Open the door. My hands are full,” Levi said. He took a bite of the bread. The doorknob turned and Erwin smiled down at Levi. Levi passed Erwin 

“You didn't bring a tray,” Erwin said. Levi was still chewing. “You didn't bring cups either?” Levi frowned. He had forgotten. “You were hungry.” 

Erwin left his room and didn't bother closing the door. Levi heard Erwin walk downstairs. Levi quickly finished the bread off by taking big bites. He walked over to Erwin's wardrobe and opened it. The tea they usually was where Levi had left it last time. When he picked up the tin, it was much lighter than he remembered. 

Erwin came back into the room with a tray and two tea cups. He sat them down on the table next to the couch. Levi walked up next to Erwin and sat the kettle down on the tray. He opened the tin, and it was almost empty. After closing an eye, Levi peered closer into the tin. Erwin grinned at him. 

“There's enough for two,” Levi decided. He began making the tea. Erwin walked around Levi and sat on the couch close to the table. With a sigh of relief, he took a cigarette from his tin in his pocket and lit it. He dragged on it and took the cigarette from his lips with two fingers. Levi reached over and took the cigarette from Erwin. He lifted it to his lips and dragged on it slowly. When Erwin looked up, Levi's eyes looked distant and occupied. 

“Something on your mind?” Erwin tilted his head. Levi passed the cigarette back to Erwin and picked up his tea cup with his whole hand. He walked past Erwin and sat down on the couch next to him. Erwin stole a glance at Levi's ass as he walked. Levi tasted the tea. 

“Tea is ready,” Levi said. Erwin smiled. Erwin picked up his cup by the handle and tasted it. He closed his eyes. 

“Can you teach me how to make it like this?” 

“It's the normal way of making it.” 

“Seems like you suddenly had a revelation about something,” Erwin said. Curiosity was eating Erwin's insides. He sat his tea cup down and took another drag from the cigarette. 

“It's a really stupid thought.” 

“Tell me anyway.” 

“I think,” Levi began and furrowed his brow. He was thinking while he was speaking. “I think Mike broke his bed purposely.” Erwin burst out into laughter and bent forward. Levi looked appalled at Erwin's sudden outburst. 

“I'm sorry,” Erwin said between laughs. “I'm not laughing at you.” Levi rolled his eyes and drank some more of his tea. “It's just funny because Mike did break his bed purposely.” Levi lifted his head and looked at Erwin. 

“What?” Erwin nodded. 

“Mike cornered me earlier,” Erwin explained. 

“Cornered you,” Levi said with suspicion. 

“In the way that Mike corners people,” Erwin continued. Levi shook his head with misunderstanding. “Mike grasps a few straws and knows that there's something he's missing. So he gives you an opportunity to tell him the information he wants privately. If you refuse, then he'll get it another way.” 

“How?” 

“He'll bring it up to you again in front of someone else close to you, and he'll see if they can piece it together faster than he can,” Erwin smiled. 

“That's shitty,” Levi snapped. 

“Yeah,” Erwin said. “He doesn't care how he gets the information. When Mike wants to know something, he'll find a way to get it.” 

“How can you trust someone like that?” Erwin shrugged. 

“Most of the time when I tell Mike to wait, he does so without complaint. He has only insisted that I share information when he's legitimately concerned. Also, that type of determination isn't necessarily common. Not everyone is willing to press so hard for private information. It's an asset.” Levi widened his eyes. 

“What did you say to him?” 

“The truth,” Erwin said. He took a drag from the cigarette and passed it to Levi. Levi took the cigarette and held it up to his lips. “I told him that I've taken a personal interest in you.” Levi froze. Levi lowered his hand and glared at Erwin. 

“You fucking idiot,” Levi snarled. 

“Levi,” Erwin cooed. “Mike is my best friend.” Erwin pierced Levi with his firm stare. Levi felt the heat of anger rising in his chest. The weight of Erwin's direct eye contact would not allow Levi's anger to fully surface though. He felt crushed under Erwin's confidence. 

“Say that you'll consult me when you decide someone needs to know,” Levi clenched his teeth. Erwin's face softened when he comprehended the words. 

“You're right,” Erwin nodded. “I will.” Levi took a heavy puff from the cigarette and passed it Erwin. He turned his head away and stared at the window slowly blowing the smoke out of his nose. Erwin took the cigarette from Levi with his right hand. His left hand slipped under Levi's chin and pulled his face back around. There was minimal resistance from Levi, but he didn't pull away. 

Without hesitation, Erwin pressed his lips against Levi's. Erwin spread Levi's lips with his tongue and kissed Levi with urgency. His hand moved from Levi's chin and wrapped around Levi's head. Erwin kissed him until Levi lost his breath. Then he suddenly broke the kiss and smiled. Levi pulled away from Erwin's hand then.

“If you're going to try to punish me with passive aggression, I'm going to become more demanding,” Erwin said. Levi drank some of his tea and averted his eyes from Erwin. 

They sat in silence while Levi finished his tea. Erwin was giving Levi ample opportunity to say something. 

When Levi finished his tea, he stood from the couch and put his cup on the table. Erwin crushed his cigarette in the ashtray. At first, Erwin expected Levi to walk directly out the door. 

Levi turned and looked down at Erwin. He tilted his head. 

“Why are you still dressed?” Levi asked. As soon as the question dropped from Levi's mouth, Erwin reached up and grabbed the front of Levi's shirt. Levi quickly straddled Erwin's lap. Their mouths met, and they kissed until they were both breathing heavily.

A knock on the door broke the kiss for them. They both looked to the door without making a sound. 

“Erwin?” Hange asked quietly. 

“One moment,” Erwin said calmly. 

“Shit,” Levi whispered. Erwin pulled Levi close and whispered directly into his ear. 

“Walk as quietly as you can over to the wardrobe and climb in it,” Erwin instructed. 

“I won't fit,” Levi whispered back. Erwin glared at him. The look on his face made it clear that this was not the time to debate size. Levi stood carefully from Erwin's lap. He braced himself on Erwin's shoulders until his feet were on the floor. Levi turned and silently walked to the wardrobe. Erwin followed him making obvious footstep noises for Hange to hear.

When Levi opened the wardrobe, he crawled in and fit perfectly in the big furniture. Erwin took a shirt from a hanger and threw it on without bothering to button it. Carefully, Erwin closed the wardrobe doors for Levi. 

Hange smiled when Erwin opened his bedroom door. 

“Good evening,” Erwin smiled. “What is it, Hange?” 

“Did you give Levi your chair?” Hange seemed rather cheerful. 

“Yes,” Erwin said simply. “He seemed really tired.” 

“I think he cleaned the entire downstairs today,” Hange said. The tone in her voice was odd. Erwin nodded. 

“Probably.” 

“I knocked on his door and didn't get a response. Do you think he's still awake?” Erwin shrugged. 

“If it's so important, knock louder?” Erwin looked puzzled. He had no idea what he was saying. Levi covered his mouth with his hands to keep from screaming at Erwin from the wardrobe. 

“Okay!” Hange said. “Good night, Erwin.” 

“Good night, Hange,” Erwin said with a smile. As soon as Erwin closed the door, Levi opened the wardrobe doors. He ran in his sock feet over to the open window. Levi opened the window and peeked out. No one was on the ground. 

Erwin walked quietly over to Levi and steadied him while he crawled out of the window. Levi inched his way across the edge of the roof to the window of his room. The cold roof made his hands hurt every time he gripped it, and he was cringing when he thought about how his socks would look after this. Erwin was surprised how quickly Levi was swinging along the edge. Desperation made him more attractive somehow.

Levi pressed the handle of his window down with his foot and swung the window open. Without thinking about the sound, Levi swung into the window and landed on the floor. Erwin winced when he heard the thud next door. 

Hange banged on the door. Levi's heart was racing. He crossed the room quickly and opened the door. Hange's face changed from cheer to concern. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yes,” Levi blurted. 

“You're sweating.” 

“Push ups,” Levi said. Hange adjusted her glasses.

“You should rest, Levi,” Hange said. “You cleaned the whole downstairs right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Wow,” Hange said with little enthusiasm. “Because of what I said after the meeting?” There was some guilt in Hange's voice. Her face quickly changed to deep thought. “So I want to run a Titan theory by you really fast.” 

“Tomorrow.” Levi slammed the door in Hange's face and rested his back against the door. His heart rate was evening out, and he grinned. Levi walked across the room and leaned out the window. 

Erwin was sitting in the windowsill. He tossed something to Levi. Levi caught it and looked down. It was the cigarette tin. Levi opened it and there was a small folded piece of paper in the tin. 

Levi took the note out and leaned into the room towards the light to read it. 

_I'm going to be rubbing my cock later while I think about you. Cum for me tonight?_

Levi smiled. He pulled a pen out of his uniform jacket and wrote his response. Levi took a cigarette and a match out of the tin for later. He tucked the note in the tin and closed it. When he leaned out of the window, he tossed the tin to Erwin. Erwin caught it easily and opened the tin. He read the note. 

_I'm taking a cigarette and a match for when I'm done._


	5. Hay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike feels like he needs to see Nanaba after a rough day.

Before Mike approached the horse stables, he stopped and listened for movement. His nostrils flared and he inhaled deeply, but could only smell the horses. Mike mimicked a bird call and waited. Nanaba responded with the same call. He saw her shadow lean out of the stable and look in his direction. 

Mike walked up to the stables and stood in the doorway. Nanaba was just finishing giving the horses fresh hay. 

“It's late for you to just be finishing,” Mike said. 

“I wasn't satisfied with my training earlier,” Nanaba said. “I stayed later than usual.” Mike nodded with a smile. 

“Did your cuts go deeper today?” 

“Yes,” Nanaba said simply. “I'm almost satisfied.” Mike stepped into the stable and closed the big doors behind him. Nanaba looked up at him briefly before returning to her work. 

Mike tipped an empty bucket over and sat down on it while Nanaba finished distributing the hay for the horses. When she was finished, she went to a bucket of water and washed her hands. 

“Congratulations on your promotion,” Nanaba said quietly. 

“Thanks,” Mike said. Nanaba frowned and looked over at him. 

“Rough day?” 

“Yeah.” Nanaba walked over to Mike while she shook the water off of her hands. 

“Sorry,” Nanaba gave him a weak smile. Mike grinned. 

“I'm better now.” Mike stood and towered over Nanaba. He put a hand on either side of her face and leaned down to kiss her lips. Nanaba leaned up on her toes and returned the kiss. Mike broke the kiss quickly this time. Nanaba tilted her head. 

“Are you sure you're better?” Mike walked past her and began climbing the ladder to the loft of the stable where fresh hay was kept. Nanaba followed him but something about his demeanor was completely different. Mike found a place he liked and laid down in the hay heavily. Some of the hay flew from the pile and drifted in the air. 

Nanaba approached him, but the suspicious look hadn't disappeared from her face.   
“What?” Mike put his hands behind his head. Seeing him sprawled out under her was definitely tempting, but she felt unsure. Nanaba squatted down and then straddled his lap. Mike put his hands on her hips. 

“When you're head is clouded, you're not a very good lover,” Nanaba said this without any malice. Concern warped her face, but she began unbuttoning his shirt. “So if you could tell me what you're so worried about then we could probably still salvage the night.” 

“Can I spare the details and just be blunt?” 

“I'd prefer it that way,” Nanaba smiled down at him. Mike sat up and took off his uniform jacket and set it to the side. He pulled his shirt all the way off and laid back down. The hay felt scratchy under his bare back, but it was comfortable enough. 

“I wasn't a very good friend to Erwin today,” Mike finally said. 

“During the officers' meeting?” 

“No. It was a personal matter.” Nanaba's eyes raised and she stared off to the right while she thought about the possibilities. 

“A personal matter,” Nanaba said out loud while she was thinking. “I didn't really think that Squad Leader Erwin had a personal life.” 

“He doesn't have very much,” Mike said. “And I almost took away what little he had, I think.” Nanaba looked back down at Mike. 

“Why would you do that?” Mike shrugged and played with one of Nanaba's belts on her leg. 

“I sort of cornered him, I guess,” Mike tried to diminish the situation. “I wanted to understand what was going on with him.” 

“You should just trust that he knows what he's doing, Mike,” Nanaba said softly. “He's a grown man.” 

“Well,” Mike began and thought carefully about what he should reveal. “I wanted to understand.” Nanaba took off her uniform jacket and began unbuttoning her own shirt. Mike Nanaba's limber fingers working her buttons open. When they were all released, she sat there on top of him without removing her shirt, but it parted just enough for him to see the center of her bra. 

“So you forced information from him that he didn't want to share.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Did you fix it though?” 

“I think so,” Mike nodded. “He never stays angry long. He just appreciates any effort made toward a reconciliation.” 

“He never seems that tender at work or outside the walls,” Nanaba mentioned.   
“He can't afford to do that,” Mike defended gently. Nanaba took off her shirt and laid it on top of her uniform jacket. 

“What was the last thing he said to you?” 

“He said: Tell her I said hello.” Nanaba laughed. 

“When did he figure it out?” 

“The first time after we met here,” Mike said with wonder. 

“No way,” Nanaba laughed again. “How did you give it away?” 

“Apparently I was a smiling too much,” Mike said. 

“And he guessed me?” 

“I blurted it out,” Mike laughed. “I was too excited.” Nanaba gave Mike a warm smile before pulling on her belt to release it. 

“He doesn't care about our ranks?” Nanaba pulled her belt out of her pant loops and set it aside after rolling it up. 

“Apparently,” Mike said. “He ended up teaching me something as well.” Mike reached down and released his own belt but didn't pull it out of his pant loops. Nanaba reached down and pulled on Mike's belt. He lifted his hips and consequentially lifted Nanaba from the floor of stable a bit. She pulled on the belt and removed it from his pants. Carefully she rolled it and sat it next to her own belt. 

“Like what?” 

“He seems to think that people who are in life threatening situations are prone to having sex more often.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. He thinks that it's our brains way of attempting to pass on genes before we die.” Nanaba looked horrified. 

“Let's not do that. I'm not getting pregnant.” Mike laughed and sat up. Nanaba put her lips on Mike's and ran her hands through his hair. Mike's hands wrapped around Nanaba's back and unhooked her bra. It sagged without falling from her shoulders. They broke the kiss and Nanaba took off and tossed her bra behind her. She stood and then took off her boots and pants. 

Mike lifted his hips and slid his pants down, but didn't bother taking them off. He laid back down and his hard cock rested on his stomach. 

“Leave your panties on again,” Mike said. 

“No,” Nanaba said. “You ripped the last pair off. I can't trust you with another pair.” Nanaba slipped her panties off and tossed them on top of her other clothes. 

She knelt down and her face hovered over Mike's cock. Nanaba kissed the tip and then licked him from his base to his head. Mike sighed when Nanaba took him in her mouth and began sucking lightly at first. When Mike's back arched, the hay under him scratched his skin. Nanaba began moving her mouth faster on him while sucking harder. All of Mike's muscles relaxed and he closed his eyes. Feeling her wet mouth move all over him made his life feel so simple. 

Nanaba wrapped her hand around Mike's cock and began stroking while she sucked on him. Mike gasped with the grip of her hand. The rush of being in a place where they could be discovered made his cock ache. Nanaba lifted her head, and when Mike looked down he saw she had drooled all over him. 

Mike grabbed Nanaba and rolled her over pushing her legs apart with his knees that were trapped by his pants. He kissed her heavily, and her chest began rising and falling faster. Nanaba loved kissing. Mike leaned down and took one of her hard nipples in his mouth. Nanaba bit her lip and didn't make a sound. His hand reached down and found her clit. Mike started moving two fingers on either side of her hard clit and she pressed into his hand. He rubbed back and forth quickly and Nanaba barely made a noise besides breathing even though she pressed into his hand. 

Mike lifted his head and smiled. 

“Still refusing to make noise,” he said. Nanaba's eyes widened when he dropped his head between her legs. She bent her knees up and spread her legs welcoming him to continue. Mike shoved two fingers inside of her wet hole and began massaging the spot she loved so much. He opened his mouth and gave her clit a long lick with a flat tongue. Nanaba covered her mouth with her hand and swallowed a moan. Mike's eyes darted up to her face. He felt like that was cheating, but pulling it out of her was so much fun. Mike flicked his tongue back and forth quickly while his fingers move in and out of her. 

Nanaba's face and neck felt hot. Her breathing was heavy, and keeping her hand over her mouth was difficult. When Mike began sucking on her clit, her eyes rolled back in her head. She felt his fingers moving inside of her, and she pressed into his hand for more. The familiar feeling of heat and tingling rose from her hips and met in the middle. She was going to cum already. 

Mike saw Nanaba's hips rise only slightly, and he quickened his fingers inside of her. His tongue worked wildly at her lips and clit. His mouth watered all over her and added to her slickness. Nanaba began quivering under him and her hand fell from her mouth. She reached down and grabbed Mike's hair. Moans rose from her throat finally and Mike felt victory.

“Don't stop,” she begged. Mike continued while Nanaba moaned and her hips writhed under him. He reached his free hand up and held one of her hips down to keep her from moving so much. The pressure and feeling of restriction on Nanaba's body made her mind go blank, and the orgasm came hard and fast. When Mike felt her clenching around his fingers, he felt so satisfied. Nanaba's body relaxed, and he pulled his soaked fingers free. Her legs were trembling.

Mike straightened his back and reached into the back pocket of his pants that were still around his knees. He pulled out the condom and ripped the brown paper easily. Quickly, he rolled it over his cock and then positioned himself over Nanaba. Her face and chest were red, and watching her pant was one of Mike's favorite moments. He watched her breasts rise and fall. 

Mike put his mouth on Nanaba's and spread her lips with his tongue. Her tongue responded and rubbed against his. Mike entered Nanaba and she moaned so loudly she broke their kiss. Mike rocked his hips back and forth. 

“I can hear how wet you are,” Mike breathed into Nanaba's ear. She gasped and put a hand on either of Mike's biceps. When she squeezed his arms like that, it stroked his ego. Mike watched her face. Her eyes were tightly closed and her mouth was slack with moans. Nanaba was holding onto him tightly and his hips would raise to meet him when he thrusted into her. 

Mike closed his eyes and focused completely on the sensation of his cock sliding in and out of her. Nanaba had lost all control and she bit her lip to try and stop the volume of her moans. Mike leaned down and kissed her with hunger. Nanaba came again and clenched tightly around his cock. Mike couldn't hold on any longer and came so hard he thought he might collapse on her. Her hands on his biceps kept him centered. He broke the kiss and sighed. Nanaba opened her eyes and watched him. 

Mike's hair had hay in it, and his mustache was wet from licking her. Nanaba's eyes were filled with wonder when Mike opened his eyes and looked down at her. At first, Mike didn't understand the look in her eye. When he realized that she was looking at him in that way, he felt a little uncomfortable. He pulled out and took the condom off and put it in the hay. Mike rolled to the side to lay down and catch his breath. Nanaba rolled over to lay her head on his chest. He wrapped his arm around her and pushed his sweat slicked hair away from his face. Nanaba yawned and wrapped an arm around Mike's waist. 

“You're the only one, Nanaba,” Mike blurted. 

“I know,” Nanaba smiled. 

“Can you say the same for me?” Mike felt uncomfortable asking, but he needed to know. 

“You are my exclusive partner, Mike.” Mike felt a sense of relief. Nanaba thought it was sweet that Mike was even asking. Mike raised his hand and put it in Nanaba's hair. He kissed her forehead. 

“Nanaba,” Mike said. 

“Yes, Mike.” 

“I love you,” Mike's voice wavered. 

“I love you too, Mike,” Nanaba said with confidence and no hesitation. When she said it, it seemed very natural in comparison to Mike's awkward babbling. One of the horses neighed louldy and they laughed. Mike was grateful something had broken the tension he felt in his chest. “Apparently, we're keeping them awake,” Nanaba said. 

“They only really work once a month. They shouldn't complain,” Mike said. 

“I think they know we're dependent on them.” 

“I want a drink,” Mike yawned. Nanaba sat up and looked for her clothes. She found them and stood. Both of them wanted to lay there longer, but laying there indisposed was a horrible idea. Nanaba dressed and Mike lifted his hips and pulled his underwear and pants up. Mike sat up and Nanaba tossed his shirt to him. They both put on their uniform jackets. 

“It's going to be so cold out there,” Nanaba complained. Bringing her winter coat to clean the stables didn't make any sense though. 

“If you run, it will keep you warm,” Mike offered. Mike stood and continued dressing. When he was fully dressed, he leaned down and found the condom. Mike wrapped some hay around it and would have to carry it back to the officers' quarters that way. It felt slick in his hand. That was the worst part of having to meet away from a residential area of the headquarters. 

Nanaba looked at the hay they had disturbed. She adjusted it a little by kicking it with her boot so no one could tell they had been laying it it. 

“Will you pick the hay off of me?” Nanaba turned away so Mike could see the hay in her hair. There was actually hay all over her clothes. Mike brushed at her uniform and picked out the most obvious pieces of hay from her hair. It almost matched her hair color though, and he thought that was convenient. When he brushed off her pants, he slap her ass with a quick pop. 

“You should shower when you get back to the barracks. I can't get all the hay out.” 

“Right,” Nanaba said. She turned and kissed him. Mike returned the kiss and then smiled down at her. 

“How do I look?” 

“Like you've literally been rolling in hay,” Nanaba laughed. Mike shook his head and walked past her. He descended the ladder first and watched Nanaba come down after him. He liked looking at her ass. Nanaba jumped from the ladder rather than stepping down. 

Mike opened the stable door and walked out. Nanaba followed and closed the door behind her. They parted ways without another word and went to their respective sleeping areas.


End file.
